This transition has been so interesting. When we first quit our jobs back in September, I was a freak. For a few months I was melancholy and could not pull myself out of the dark pit I was in.
Steve seemed fine and very grounded. But we have slowly switched places. As the time grows closer Steve is starting to get uncomfortable and I feel like, we have to do this. It is good that we don’t hit bottom at the same time.
We are both very nervous. VERY NERVOUS—-but at the same time there is an excitement about moving toward something bigger and better for us.
I would like to share a journal entry from last Wednesday, February 15.
February 15 Wed 7:20 am 3rd Quarter moon
I just read my entry from November– right before we went to Albany NY for the Art of Powerful Living seminar– I wrote
” this transition is about molding our lives into what we really want them to be.”
This is it. As the clock ticks and we realize that there is just so much time– we realize we need to do the things we want and the be with people we want to be with. This time with Steve is so precious. We have a bond that I can’t even describe. Valentine’s evening– we worked on Project New Mexico by inviting our friends and acquaintences to the Cabaret from 6-10 pm Friday Feb 24 for a Bon voyage party.
We put on our new favorite song- Snow Patrol’s Called Out From the Dark. “We are listening and we’re not blind. This is your life, this is your time.”
We spontaneously got up and danced—danced hard in the kitchen. Dancing because we believe it, because this is our life and our time. I guess it’s the theme for Project New Mexico.
I have been looking at the photo I found recently of Mom, Dave and me in Tijuana, Mexico in 1968. There I am seven years old sitting on a donkey painted like a zebra. Dottie was trying to figure out what she was doing with her life– her life and her 3 sons. My respect for you grows all the time. You took us on your journey. And we are better for it. You inspire me Dottie with the life changes you faced at 45-50 years old and how you handled it with the outmost integrity—-laughter and love.
Last night towards the end of the song we held each other—-tight, really tight—letting out some of our anxiety and feeling the love for sure.
Steve said; ” How did this happen?”
“How did I find the perfect person for me? This is so exciting!”
His trust and faith in me to forge ahead in these new unchartered waters gives me s strength and determination that I am so glad to feel again. I thought it was gone. He has been so strong and courageous that he inspires me too.
I feel you in these moments Mom—I know that this is part of the DNA you shared with me. The fact that we are going to be living on the old Route 66 for six months or however long?–does not escape me as I remember the stories of your journey out to California along that same famous road.
I feel you and your journeys. Of course they are different– but there are similarities.
The fact that Steve D and his family– especially Samantha are going to be the loving caretakers of 1108 is very special to me.
This journey and your companions on it, are so interesting and invigorating- you just have to have your eyes open—ears perked and be open to all possibilities.
Carol stopped by yesterday. She leaves for Tucson AZ on Friday to help her Mom on her wild road to recovery. Elinor is headed for a major change that both Carol and Nancy will be on as well. Our relationship with Carol is so fabulous. The earthy, sensual connection between her and Steve especially– but the spiritual connection between us. All three of us held back tears as we hugged as a threesome and we said goodbye yesterday—could be 6 months. Last time we headed to the Mountains Carol tried to come with us. This time she heads to Mount Lemon to help her Mommie and we head to the Sandia Mountains. The three of us know how special this journey is together and we are grateful.
I can’t believe how much solace and guidance I get from those who have gone before………I hear Bobbie and Alice— Mom and Jo– as clear as anything sometimes. It’s their voices and what they say is full of so much love and wisdom. Keep it coming girls!! ♥